I’ve seen people argue that BDSM & kink is bad because of aftercare. “You don’t NEED aftercare or safewords for vanilla sex, because it’s not harmful!”
Uh, hate to tell you but aftercare and safewords do exist for vanilla sex. It’s getting your partner a glass of water after. It’s cuddling and compliments. It’s asking if they’re feeling good during. It’s words like stop, no, easy. It’s asking if there’s anything to make it better next time.
If you really don’t practice communicating and aftercare with your partner regardless of how vanilla it is or not, you’re just not a good partner.
“Having a long record gives people the understanding that these ideas that I’m talking about, they’re in my guts, they’re in my heart. This is who I am as a human being.”
I’d also like to add to this: Even if you ARE seeking help and trying to get better, it is STILL their right to leave. No one owes you their companionship, especially if it is damaging to them in some way, even if that’s not your fault.
Dear future managers reading this, small talk and other kind gestures boost morale and by extension, productivity. Don't berate your employees, associates, slaves, or whatever it is that you call us for sharing a quick joke by the water fountain. Especially when you do the same with fellow managers on a daily basis for half-hours on end.
okay but waking up in the middle of the night to soft rain and knowing you’ve still got hours to sleep, when you’re toasty warm and comfortable & sleep has made you forget all your worries and responsibilities and u go back to sleep feeling as content as ever
remember that weird 2000s argument that gay marriage was somehow extra rights just for gay people that straight people wouldnt have only gays so its unconstitnsudntol
why is the conservative brain so fucking broken
why do they need to treat the government like it came from space
we built the damn thing to serve the people as the people demand and everything about the right wing seems so contrary to that american core value
until you break through into galaxy brain conservatism where the government is bad but so is everyone and everything else so you just become a recluse and larp vague fascism to relieve your violent confused anger until you die unmourned
I feel that conservatives deeply believe in a kind of natural hierarchy of people, they have a mental construct of like, who’s the king, and who’s the peasants, and anything being out of place is tantamount to the fall of society. So when they went on about gay marriage being ‘extra rights just for gay people’ they didn’t see the issue being about giving more people the same rights that they enjoyed– they see it as that they don’t need rights, they need to be obedient to their ‘natural’ position in life. Hell, when they say ‘the army fights for your rights,’ they don’t even care about any actual human rights– they are dog whistling that the military should be used to enforce what they see as a natural order, and fight unnatural aberrations to that order. They see heterosexual union as like. just biology, or a god-given reality– so like the ability to breathe, or shit, they don’t believe the law ‘has granted them the right’ to a default process. And so they are totally OK with a billionaire’s breath and shit being worth more than theirs, too.
But they do believe that powerful institutions like government are capable of giving advantages to people outside of their ‘natural place.’ They don’t want to see a gay couple that they believe is not natural enjoying all of the advantages that they do; that means the gay couple can influence the same stuff they can, mess up the order of life to benefit the gay person, make day night, turn black white, etc. They generally believe that evil is caused by the ‘wrong’ people being at a place in society they ‘don’t belong.’ See also why they think that affirmative action is wrong, or that food and housing assistance are wrong, etc.
But they’ll use powerful institutions like the government to enforce these barely-conscious constructs because there’s no other way to inflict the right amount of violence, or have the right amount of authority. Basically they are all pining for divine right, and believe ‘nature’ or ‘god’ organizes who in life ought to be a lion or a lamb… but the government will do if the Will of the Almighty has no tangible influence on earth. They just don’t want anyone to use it to reorder reality.
